Twelve posts in September, five in October, three in November and ONE in December, if I hurry and post this.
This dismal blogging record is just a symptom of a larger problem that thankfully I addressed in therapy this week! (Thank you, Joanie T., for being so wise.)
My writing inertia is actually the topic of most of my sessions but Tuesday’s session was pivotal in that I finally *got* why I’m so blocked.
First, my working life to this point has been defined by the external. Almost all of my self-confidence came from the recognition I got for my work and for being such a “hard worker.” A writing life does not afford this type of recognition. Writers go for long periods without feedback, except for those nasty little rejection slips.
Second, I haven’t made a commitment to a writing life. I’ve been all talk and no action. Joanie used the word “random” to describe my writing habits. She’s brilliant because that’s exactly what the past three months have been like. I’ve let work (my day job) encroach on my Monday and Friday writing days. I’ve procrastinated by doing laundry, cleaning the cat box and other chores that could and should wait for the weekend when my spouse can help me.
My analysis: on a subconscious level, I’ve not committed to a writing life so that when/if I fail, I haven’t invested so much of myself in the effort. FEAR has stopped me from living the life I’m meant to lead.
My square, Type A personality is not responding well to the lack of structure, either. I have an office that I rent for my day job. I have a space to go to -- but I haven’t made it a writer’s space. My goal is to equip it with a comfy chair, a rug, a bookshelf for my lovely books, my intention board, fresh flowers, candles and personal items.
The greatest gift I can give myself this holiday season is to own the mantle of writer.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
A Gift of Spirit and a Kick in the Pants
On Saturday, my friend LaVonne (75 years young) and I decided to drive to the neighboring town of Bayfield to visit the woo-woo store there, Pathways. I figured it was a nice way to spend a morning with a dear friend – it ended up being something so much more.
We were browsing the section with tarot and oracle cards. One set caught my eye: the Ascended Masters Oracle Cards. I was happy to see a “demo” or store copy open so I could see the beautiful illustrations of the deck. I lifted the deck mid-way and the card I saw first said:
Creative WritingArchangel Gabriel: "Make time to write down your thoughts in a journal, or pen an article or book."
I laughed out loud and told LaVonne that spirit must want me to get serious about my book writing (which I haven’t been lately).
The clerk asked what I was laughing about and I told her. She asked if I’d share the storylines of the three books I’ve started. I gave a very brief synopsis and noticed her eyes teared.
The book I’m working on the most is about a Cissy, a 16-year-old in 1960s Mississippi who shoots her father, who’s abused her for the past 10 years. The clerk told me of a relative who has a daughter in Mississippi named Cissy who is 16 years old and tyring to be emancipated from her parents because of her father’s sexual abuse.
I still can’t believe what I heard. I took it as a gift from spirit that I’m on the right track and to keep writing!
That evening, I searched the Internet for information on Archangel Gabriel. Here’s a paragraph I found that hit me like a ton of bricks:
Gabriel loves to coach and help you with writing. He can open doors for publication and will help you in the enjoyment of your writing. He will push you into action. He will reassure you that it is safe to be powerful.
If that wasn’t enough, the web site said the crystal associated with Gabriel is citrine – the crystal I bought at the store earlier that day.
So, today, I feel renewed and energized to continue Cissy’s story. I have the crystal next to my computer and a steaming mug of decaf.
Thank you, spirit, for an early Christmas present! Readers and writers, have you experienced these types of synchronicities in your life? Please share!
We were browsing the section with tarot and oracle cards. One set caught my eye: the Ascended Masters Oracle Cards. I was happy to see a “demo” or store copy open so I could see the beautiful illustrations of the deck. I lifted the deck mid-way and the card I saw first said:
Creative WritingArchangel Gabriel: "Make time to write down your thoughts in a journal, or pen an article or book."
I laughed out loud and told LaVonne that spirit must want me to get serious about my book writing (which I haven’t been lately).
The clerk asked what I was laughing about and I told her. She asked if I’d share the storylines of the three books I’ve started. I gave a very brief synopsis and noticed her eyes teared.
The book I’m working on the most is about a Cissy, a 16-year-old in 1960s Mississippi who shoots her father, who’s abused her for the past 10 years. The clerk told me of a relative who has a daughter in Mississippi named Cissy who is 16 years old and tyring to be emancipated from her parents because of her father’s sexual abuse.
I still can’t believe what I heard. I took it as a gift from spirit that I’m on the right track and to keep writing!
That evening, I searched the Internet for information on Archangel Gabriel. Here’s a paragraph I found that hit me like a ton of bricks:
Gabriel loves to coach and help you with writing. He can open doors for publication and will help you in the enjoyment of your writing. He will push you into action. He will reassure you that it is safe to be powerful.
If that wasn’t enough, the web site said the crystal associated with Gabriel is citrine – the crystal I bought at the store earlier that day.
So, today, I feel renewed and energized to continue Cissy’s story. I have the crystal next to my computer and a steaming mug of decaf.
Thank you, spirit, for an early Christmas present! Readers and writers, have you experienced these types of synchronicities in your life? Please share!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Reading, Writing and Guilt
After the AROHO writers’ retreat I attended in August, I was gung-ho about signing up for writer’s blogs and subscribing to writing magazines. I bought works by short story writers I hoped to emulate.
I work at a national nonprofit as a marketing/communications specialist three days a week (Tuesday-Thursday). I envisioned Mondays and Fridays as days to devote to reading and writing. Instead, I’ve been in a quagmire of guilt because I haven’t done much of either lately. The stack of books and magazines sits on my nightstand and mocks me. “Look at the money you spent on us!” “Stop being such a cry baby and get to work!”
I’ve always been such a motivated ‘employee.’ Yet, I’ve found it difficult to stay energized about my craft when I’m only accountable to me, myself and I. I suppose self doubt fuels apathy, which then translates to procrastination.
Yikes. What a pity party I’m having today. Writers – how much do you read and how do you make time for it?
I work at a national nonprofit as a marketing/communications specialist three days a week (Tuesday-Thursday). I envisioned Mondays and Fridays as days to devote to reading and writing. Instead, I’ve been in a quagmire of guilt because I haven’t done much of either lately. The stack of books and magazines sits on my nightstand and mocks me. “Look at the money you spent on us!” “Stop being such a cry baby and get to work!”
I’ve always been such a motivated ‘employee.’ Yet, I’ve found it difficult to stay energized about my craft when I’m only accountable to me, myself and I. I suppose self doubt fuels apathy, which then translates to procrastination.
Yikes. What a pity party I’m having today. Writers – how much do you read and how do you make time for it?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
It's the Plot, Stupid
Oh my, it’s been a while since I last wrote. Life has been busy but in a very good way. I just got back from 10 days in the British Virgin Islands on the lovely island of Tortola, which my husband and I have visited three times. It’s not an island for those craving night life. The slow, plodding way of life lends itself to rum punches, long naps in the sun and plenty of time for reading.
I foolishly brought my laptop thinking I’d either make enormous progress on the novel or start a new one for National Novel Writing Month. Well, I did neither. It was my vacation and writing seemed like work. This realization makes me a little sad but I’m giving myself a break. I NEEDED REST!
I do have something writing-related to report. The resort had a library of bestsellers with suntan lotion grease marks, dog-eared pages and airline ticket stubs as bookmarkers.
While on vacation, I read five paperbacks (almost six). The authors were biggies: Picoult, Baldacci, Higgins Clark, Grisham, Cornwell.
The bestsellers were plot- not character-driven, although the books had extremely well-developed characters (including the long-standing medical examiner Kaye Scarpetta). The authors hit you over the head with the issue or conflict right off the bat and continued to remind you of it. Characterization was secondary and flowed from the storyline.
This may seem like ABCs to veteran writers but for those of us who also drift toward literary fiction, characters can take over our works. We become so closely associated with them that we don’t stop to put ourselves in our readers’ shoes. They might just be asking “Who cares?” unless we give them a reason to read more. That involves putting our characters up against personal or physical challenges.
Have you tried to balance plot and character in your works? I’d love to hear about it.
I foolishly brought my laptop thinking I’d either make enormous progress on the novel or start a new one for National Novel Writing Month. Well, I did neither. It was my vacation and writing seemed like work. This realization makes me a little sad but I’m giving myself a break. I NEEDED REST!
I do have something writing-related to report. The resort had a library of bestsellers with suntan lotion grease marks, dog-eared pages and airline ticket stubs as bookmarkers.
While on vacation, I read five paperbacks (almost six). The authors were biggies: Picoult, Baldacci, Higgins Clark, Grisham, Cornwell.
The bestsellers were plot- not character-driven, although the books had extremely well-developed characters (including the long-standing medical examiner Kaye Scarpetta). The authors hit you over the head with the issue or conflict right off the bat and continued to remind you of it. Characterization was secondary and flowed from the storyline.
This may seem like ABCs to veteran writers but for those of us who also drift toward literary fiction, characters can take over our works. We become so closely associated with them that we don’t stop to put ourselves in our readers’ shoes. They might just be asking “Who cares?” unless we give them a reason to read more. That involves putting our characters up against personal or physical challenges.
Have you tried to balance plot and character in your works? I’d love to hear about it.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
A Novel in a Month -- Ready, Set, Go!
November is National Novel Writing Month. Seriously. A whole month dedicated to writing 50,000 words.
My local paper featured an article on this because 14 people in my area actually did this last year. Durango’s pretty darn small. What’s up with those 14 people?
The NaNoWriMo web site (I’m not making this up) explains the effort this way: Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly. Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.
NaNoWriMo started in 1999 with 21 writers. In 2008, there were 119,301 writers and 21,683 reached the 50,000-word minimum by November 30. (You have to register and then upload your work by that date to qualify as a winner.)
Many of these writers went on to successfully publish their books (after some editing and rewriting, of course).
I’m intrigued by the idea yet don’t want to stop writing on my current novel for an entire month. (Rules say you can’t jump in with a work in progress because you’re already too attached to it.)
Yet, what a great way to throw caution to the wind and write without emotional investment. I’ll let you know if I decide to try this. What about you? Interested?
My local paper featured an article on this because 14 people in my area actually did this last year. Durango’s pretty darn small. What’s up with those 14 people?
The NaNoWriMo web site (I’m not making this up) explains the effort this way: Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly. Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.
NaNoWriMo started in 1999 with 21 writers. In 2008, there were 119,301 writers and 21,683 reached the 50,000-word minimum by November 30. (You have to register and then upload your work by that date to qualify as a winner.)
Many of these writers went on to successfully publish their books (after some editing and rewriting, of course).
I’m intrigued by the idea yet don’t want to stop writing on my current novel for an entire month. (Rules say you can’t jump in with a work in progress because you’re already too attached to it.)
Yet, what a great way to throw caution to the wind and write without emotional investment. I’ll let you know if I decide to try this. What about you? Interested?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Attack of the Query Shark!
No excuses for the long break between posts except that my injured knee and I have been throwing a pity party. The darn joint won’t cooperate and will likely keep me out of the half marathon in Moab, UT on Sunday. Oh well, I got tons of writing done in bed, knee propped up, ice pack in place, listening to tiny violins play in the background.
I also had some quality Internet time and found two great sites I’d like to share:
http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/
http://queryshark.blogspot.com
Both blogs are written by Janet Reid, a literary agent. She’s smart, funny and snarky as hell. The best part is reading her comments on poorly written query letters as well as those that made her want to sign the author.
Believe me, you’ll be entertained for hours and you’ll start to think you’re one of the greatest writers of all time after reading some of the crap that’s submitted. There’s also lots of great advice – so poke around and read posts like “7 Ways to Drive Your Agent Crazy” and “How to Make Sure Your Query is Instantly Rejected.”
I know, I know. You may not have finished your book or memoir yet. Write a query letter anyway. It’s great practice – you can always revise it later.
And before you send your query out into the big, scary world, send it to the Query Shark first. She'll toughen your skin and possibly help you turn a mediocre query into one that sings.
I also had some quality Internet time and found two great sites I’d like to share:
http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/
http://queryshark.blogspot.com
Both blogs are written by Janet Reid, a literary agent. She’s smart, funny and snarky as hell. The best part is reading her comments on poorly written query letters as well as those that made her want to sign the author.
Believe me, you’ll be entertained for hours and you’ll start to think you’re one of the greatest writers of all time after reading some of the crap that’s submitted. There’s also lots of great advice – so poke around and read posts like “7 Ways to Drive Your Agent Crazy” and “How to Make Sure Your Query is Instantly Rejected.”
I know, I know. You may not have finished your book or memoir yet. Write a query letter anyway. It’s great practice – you can always revise it later.
And before you send your query out into the big, scary world, send it to the Query Shark first. She'll toughen your skin and possibly help you turn a mediocre query into one that sings.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Conjure the Dream
I've written several times about my intention board -- it has my calls to the universe for things I want to manifest in my life. Well, until today, they've only been words on Post-It notes; nothing visual.I recently ran across a powerful exercise for first-time novelists. You're supposed to seek out an image you think represents your future book cover -- and then cut out words and paste up a mock cover to remind you of the dream of publishing that manuscript one day.
Can I just say HOW MUCH FUN it was to do this? I have some graphic design expertise so I did a pretty involved mock-up (see photo). Then, I did one for the two women in my writers' group. (We had breakfast today to pump each other for a Friday full of writing.)
The Artist's Way also encourages writers to imagine all the juicy details of their dreams. Not just stating "Publish book." The author suggests writing specifics about what it would mean to achieve that dream. My image is walking in downtown Durango past Maria's, our independent bookstore, and seeing copies of my book in the window with a sign, "Latest Novel from Local Author Mandy Mikulencak."
A former co-worker of mine would write her dreams/wants/desires on pieces of paper, fold them up and hide them in different places in her house. Another would write out her intentions and then burn them, sending the smoke up as her request to the universe.
Do you take time to conjure your dream, in all its glorious details? I highly recommend it.
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