It must be a function of aging that time seems to fly by at an astounding and alarming rate. December? Already? What happened to November and the six months prior to that?My (mostly unspoken) fear is that time flies by so quickly because I’m not fully awake; present and attentive to what I feel and do and say each and every day. Kind of like when you drive a familiar route and then, wham…you’re home and you don’t remember passing landmarks along the way. Just yesterday, I was 18. And today I’m 46. That's a helluva blink of an eye.
On Saturday, my nephew graduates from the University of Texas at Austin. He’s very stressed: money woes, grad school applications for himself and his girlfriend, the future.
I wish I could stop time for him so that he could fully be present in the moment, to savor the current milestone before worrying about the next.
It’s hard to do. I often worry about “when” and “if” scenarios instead of sitting with the now.
For me, that might mean having a holiday coffee drink and reading the paper without my Blackberry on the table, blinking at me to check it. Or it might mean enjoying each bite of the amazing BLT at Poppy’s sandwich shop instead of inhaling it so I could get back to work.
What’s going on in your “now” that you want to savor? There’s no time like the present.
*Waking up each morning and going to the most rewarding job I've ever had in my professional life...
ReplyDelete*Feeling like I'm actually participating as an active member in a community (as opposed to being just another anonymous face in the traffic jam)...
*Sharing life with a partner whom I trust and respect (in a relationship based on mutual trust and respect)...
*Living where I can bang on the piano at 3am and not disturb anyone...
*Having connections with a multitude of dear friends who help me redefine the meaning of "family"...
*Moving my body through space and time without pain...
*Making music in solitude and with friends...
*Reconnecting with family in new ways that bring joy...
*Remembering that all of it is temporary...
Hearing, while I am listening.
ReplyDeleteI keep a a little "book of memories" where I'll jot down a line or two about a happy memory that pops into my head, or when something nice happens in a day and I don't want to forget about that moment. It's not a diary and I only write about the good things. It's my go-to book if I feel sad and need gentle reminders of how blessed I am, and how my life has been full of special people and moments.
ReplyDeleteLove this - everything you write seems to resonate so much with where I'm at right now, too. I'm 33, and I swear I feel more like 18, or 23. Surely I can't be 33. I still collect stuffed animals.
ReplyDeleteGetting older isn't necessarily a bad thing - it's just realising that time has slipped away and I feel like I haven't moved with it. I haven't figured out yet whether that's because I'm afraid to grow up, or I fear I never will get a "proper career" and have a pension. But time is marching on whether I meet the criteria or not. And I think I'm becoming more a procrastinator as time goes by.
I want to savour every moment spent with friends over coffee (as they are precious few), every visit with my family & friends back in the U.S., and every moment with my fiance' where we make each other laugh despite the overwhelming stuff in front of us. I want to stop fearing and start enjoying the view, despite the scary cliffs all around us.
I mean that figuratively AND literally... 2 weeks ago we climbed a peak in the Lake District that was gorgeous, with the sun shining on all the snowy peaks around us. And while I *kinda* enjoyed it, I was majorly freaking out about the steep descent ahead of us. Looking back at the beautiful photos I took from up there, I've been kicking myself for not enjoying it while I was there. That goes for the rest of life - I want to enjoy it instead of freaking out about the what-ifs. It's my lifelong mission it seems like!